i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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