i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
