big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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