it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
