Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
