It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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