It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
