Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
