I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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