we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
