If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I love having hate sex.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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