I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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