I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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