she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize