My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
