True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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