I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
