it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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