plz talk dirty to me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize