Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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