She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
