well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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