Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
