My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just gift wrapped bread.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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