She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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