He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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