WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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