so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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