i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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