The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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