He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
