i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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