You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
