Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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