umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
