Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I could make wine with my vomit
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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