she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
