Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
