I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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