Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Enjoy the penises
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize