That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
