You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
