I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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