He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
