i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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