Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
