goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize