your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
