Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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