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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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