I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
