I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
