she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
