i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
