dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
